For all you single ladies, it’s that awful time of year again when you can’t even get past the pink boxed m&m’s while walking to the wine aisle at the grocery store. Who knew those little pieces of knock off chocolate could cause so many violent and angry thoughts?

For all you “hook up” ladies, it’s that time when you try to determine if your hook up is a little more than that. Will he ignore you or will he shower you with presents?

For all you relationship girls, it’s that time when you try to figure out who your boyfriend actually is. Is he one that buys candy? buys roses? takes you out? movies (the vow, please)? or just nothing at all?

Here’s the reality of the situation:  valentines day should be more about loving one another than giving gifts of chocolate or roses. It shouldn’t be about what guy wants you more based on their gifts. It shouldn’t be about what girl is loved more based on the number of roses she gets.

Quite honestly, it’s all a bunch of CRAP. Like I said, I’m in a relationship. My boyfriend is great and by far the greatest friend I’ve ever had. He knows that I think Vday is pathetic mostly because you should do nice things for each other every day! Gifts are nice, chocolate is great, and wine is better but if thats what it takes to get a girls attention, who the heck would want that? I for one wouldn’t want a girl that required a fancy dinner to really be thankful for me. What if in order to get guys affection we had to cut the grass or pretend to enjoy watching golf on tv (boring)? I’m exhausted just thinking about it. 

Girls, if a guy loves you he will show you with his actions and words. No guy worth having will ever try to “buy you” because no matter how you feel, you are priceless! You can’t be bought. I like Tiffany’s and you can bet I’d be ecstatic if my boyfriend bought me a cute charm for my bracelet. But HELLO, we’re in college. If you honestly expect gifts like that you are a shallow woman! Be grateful that you (if you’re in college) are in a time where you don’t have to buy expensive presents or any presents at all to have a good relationship. Spending time is the greatest gift of all! If he’s “the One” he will show you. If you’re determining if he’s the one on Vday, he won’t pass and neither will any other guy. Love isn’t based on gifts, it’s based on affection. Me and my boyfriend plan on making dinner for each other. I don’t want roses or a card or chocolate. I just want him and I just want him to feel loved. 

If you’re single, I know it must be a crappy day. One of those days where you drink alone in your bedroom and stare at pictures of you ex’s or cute couples on facebook all day. There’s someone for you! This morning I bought myself a box of chocolate for my room mate. She’s not single but she’s been having a rough time lately. It totally made her day and it made my week. Vday isn’t just about love for a spouse, it’s just about love. If you can show someone you truly love them, you will feel just as much happiness as the “cute couples” on facebook who are probably watching a God awful college basketball game and falling asleep at ten. 

To all the girls who are playing a bunch of guys and waiting to see who gives you the most, God bless your soul. You can’t win that way and you will end up alone. There’s NOTHING wrong with being alone on valentines day! Just show someone you love them and I can guarantee you it’ll be a good day. 

Valentines day is about showing someone you love them. It doesn’t matter if you give candy to your room mate, make dinner with your boyfriend, or calling your mom just to tell her you love her! Spread your love, you have so much to give!

Let LOVE day inspire you to LOVE deeper every single day! 

PS: If you see a girl post a picture of the flowers her bf bought her on facebook, ignore it. Obviously she’s not used to the attention so just let her soak it up. Don’t be one of these girls, celebrate with the person who gave them to you. The whole world doesn’t need to know. Everyone’s loved beyond their belief, you aren’t loved more because you got a couple of cheap roses. Happy VDAY Y’ALL 

Just had one of “those days”. Bombed a math test and some random girl I hardly know, and have never done anything to, decides to try to tell me I’m stupid. 

I’m a major advocate for ESPN or just any topic involving sports. It’s safe to say I know my stuff and can argue with the best. I’m also not “skanky” and I’ve never hooked up with anyone. However, if you do, that’s fine. I’m not against it, I just don’t do it. 

This girl is from NY (which I have no prob with but it seems to put out the most awful women) and she’s dating my boyfriends room mate. To begin our short history, she kissed my boyfriend on the cheek at a party. No, it wasn’t one of those “we’ve been friends forever and we’re really close” thing. It was one of those “I’ve been trying to hook up with him forever and you’re getting in my way” things. I know her history so I kind of know how skanky she actually is so I clearly didn’t trust her from the get go. Anyways, we’ve had weird twitter confrontations and she always makes a smart comment when I walk in the room.

I’m respectful and I’m polite to everyone I meet, but this girl is crossing the line. She thinks she’s so smart and so hot. She’s not. Instead of responding on twitter like an immature brat, I’m trying to find her phone number because I’ve respected her. I know so many awful things that could ruin her life right now and I wouldn’t even say them because my parents raised me better than that. I want to talk to her over the phone because I still respect her as well as myself. I’d rather dispute our disagreement instead of tweeting about it, but I guess that’s because I have class.

I know I preached that we shouldn’t judge and we should try to end our bad cycles, hints why I’m writing it and not chewing her out! So here’s to you, mean girl, I hope you sleep well tonight knowing that you are immature, rude, disrespectful, and NOT pretty at all.

Thankfully I forgive you and I’m going to hang out with my wonderful boyfriend while yours cheats on you. No one likes a mean girl. 

College, what’s the point?

So, it seems like most college students don’t really know the answer to why they are even in college. Most would answer “for a good education”. Notice I said “most” because most of us have been trained to respond in that manner. 

Let’s throw out all the proper terms, expected responses, and be honest. We’re here to make connections. 

Is it me or does that seem like a really difficult task? WHY?

I’m not gonna sugar coat this or butter y’all up.:

Jealousy and Insecurities. 

You can’t make a single connection if you are always judging, classifying and hating each other (Remember this because it’ll come into play later).

Here’s even less sugar coating: I judge. I classify. Yes, on certain occasions, I hate girls. I’m a woman. I’m a human being. I also have a great life, a very blessed life. I’m highly unworthy of all of it but here’s a no brainer: I’m insecure. THERE! Someone actually admitted it. Don’t even try to pretend you aren’t because there honestly isn’t a single person in this world who isn’t insecure. You judge too. You classify as well. Everyone knows it.

Now that all the cards are on the table, let’s sort through this.

At the end of the day, no one truly cares how drunk you got at last night’s kegger. No one cares if Chelsea and Samantha’s Ex hooked up at last weeks formal. Let’s be honest, no one cares about any of the crap we post on facebook, twitter, tumblr or any other means of social networking that you use (Don’t hate me, I do it too. Guilty). So WHY do we post it? Because we all want to judge and shockingly enough, we all want to BE judged. Here’s a list of examples on how we are ruining ourselves:

1. Facebook mobile upload of you and the frat guy from the 3rd floor. His hands pretty close to the short him of your smothering tight black dress. To you, this says “I look hot. He’s hot and he wants me. Jealous?”. To everyone else it says “Does he have STD’s? Is she wearing underwear? OMG he slept with Katie two weeks ago! She’s going to be devastated.” Given, you probably don’t know Katie and quite honestly he probably has an STD but the whole purpose was to let all your friends, frienemies and ex’s know that you are happy and having the time of your life. You seem wanted. Isn’t that what EVERY GIRL wants? 
2. Laughing with your friends at the girl in the front of your math class with red hair and glasses. To you this says “I’m so funny! No one ever laughs at me. I look soo much better than her and I’m popular!” Truth is everyone else is thinking “Wow, you are really shallow.  You don’t know her. Clearly she is happy just minding her own business. So, uh, is this class over with yet?” Exactly, you don’t know her. You don’t know where she’s been or where she’s going. Honestly, your hair is probably out of a box so don’t be that girl that judges natural hair colors. THAT AIN’T RIGHT!
3. Tweeting about a girl and how no one is jealous of her. To you this says “my followers will agree. I’m so clever and that girl is clearly insecure.” In reality this says “She jumps to conclusions and has no respect of anyone, including herself. I feel like she might just be jealous of everyone. She’s angry because she wants to be something else and just takes it out on everyone else. I’d be scared to talk to her, she’d prob judge me.” TRUTH. Ladies, like I said before, we are all insecure. ALL OF US. No one is above anyone else. Remember that before you try to ruin someone’s day on twitter. Make sure you check to see if they even follow you. They probably don’t. You’d feel stupid if they didn’t so then you’d take out that anger on someone else. Cool it down.

4.So it’s your “dress up” day for your sorority. You call your bestie and try to coordinate outfits. On your walk to class in your 4 inch heels you notice a GDI in sweats and Uggs. You glance at your sister and you both giggle over how gross she looks. You probably think “Oh my God, what is that girl wearing?! EWWWW I’m going to get ugly just being near her. I’d never dress like that. I’m wayy to gorgeous to ever look like that.” To other people it seems like “She must really be cocky (that’s not the same as confident) and self absorbed. She’s no better than anyone else. Who cares if she’s in a sorority?” I have no issue with sororities and I think most have a good outlook on charities and what not. Here’s a heads up for all you ADPi’s, Tri Deltas, Alpha Xi’s, ZTA’s etc…, you call anyone not in a sorority a GDI. Those same girls call you sororistutes. I’m sure you think it’s a compliment, it’s not. That girl in sweats looks a lot better than you did last night hung over a toilet with your hair soaked in puke (no judgement, we’ve all been there). Letters don’t make you classy, your attitude does! 

Those are just examples and none of them are personal stories. Those are just situations I see on a daily basis! 

I’m not Jesus. I know you are all thinking “this girl is judging us on judging other people who judge us anyways” and you are right. I’m not judging you. I’m understanding you. I’ve been that girl that looks at other girls and thinks “what the hell is she wearing?” but I’ve also been the girl that gets bad looks because I’m not in a sorority. We’ve all been in each other shoes at least once so why act like we haven’t? 

But you are thinking there is no way for anyone to change. We’re all in this never ending cycle. Again, genius, we are. It’s almost impossible to stop this awful cycle but guess what? YOU can stop your own cycle! My best tip: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Like momma says, if you don’t have anything nice to say then just don’t say it! Instead of tweeting it, write it as a draft. It’s okay to be angry but it’s not okay to hate. Instead of screeching when you see a GDI, pretend you don’t even see them. They probably don’t see you anyways. To the red head in the front of your class, maybe you should start sitting up front. I bet she’d help with your homework so you don’t fail. If you want all your frienemies to see the hot fratty guy, try developing a friendship with him. Don’t give him the goods because that’ll be the only time you get a picture with him! Be the girl he loves and opens up to. 

Here’s a cliche, love yourself. Try to ignore those negative thoughts. You don’t have to take your problems out on other people. You have been or will be in their position. You can’t be successful in life without connections. You can’t have connections if you are judging and being narrow minded. Absorb each other and learn from each other!!